A few years ago I was on my way to buy potatoes when I received a message from a guy I had been dating, basically giving me the "it's not you, it's me" line.
I remember distinctly the drop in the pit of the stomach, the sudden closing in of the world around me and the tightening in my chest.
I could feel the tears welling up in sadness accompanied by insane burning anger and very loud inner chatter.
"Of course this had happened again. This is just the story of your life"
"How dare he what an asshole?"
"What is wrong with me? "
Am I not pretty enough or good enough?"
I walked into the shop in a daze and picked up the potatoes. As I cruised the aisles I found myself in the wine section. All I wanted to do was not feel the way I felt at that moment. I wanted to escape.
At this point in my life, I had started doing the inner work to break old patterns and using wine to deal with uncomfortable feelings was one of my old patterns.
As I stood in the aisle I knew I could choose to repeat my old pattern or to make a decision as my higher self and to choose differently.
Choosing the wine at that moment would have the easy option.
Because familiar always feels easier even if it doesn't make us feel good.
But I chose to leave the wine aisle, buy my potatoes, then head home and hit up my journal to do some release writing.
I wrote and wrote continuously. My hand actually could almost not keep up with what was spewing out of my head. I held nothing back.
If you had read what I had written afterwards you would have thought "wow this is one angry woman, spiteful, crazy woman!"
But better out than in. The more I let rip the more I felt my energy change. I began to feel calmer. My body physically relaxed. I stopped feeling sick and like I was going to implode. I think the best way to describe it is my mind felt clearer and I felt lighter.
The power of writing is so real my friend. It takes you on a journey. You start out in one place and you can end up in a totally different one and on the way you are uncovering truths about yourself that have been hidden.
Truths that could be holding you back and truths that could help you evolve.
It is a safe space for you to open up and be honest about your deepest, darkest most intimate thoughts.
It is a place where you can deal with and process feelings and emotions and set intentions for yourself. It is a place for you to really connect with who you are in the most open, honest and vulnerable way.
I use a process with my clients called "write to transform." because I know the power of it.
Hands down writing honestly helped me to transform myself.
So to end I invite you (if you don't already) to start exploring it for yourself by trying out release writing the next time you feel emotionally triggered rather than reaching for the wine or the biscuits!
You are amazing. Sending good vibes.
Would love to connect so feel free to send me a message.
I have a NEW 6-week self-guided course out called Inferior No More. For the woman who wants to stop sabotaging herself and FINALLY feel good. Check it out here