How To Be Happy and Love YourselfMay 10, 2021
Judge yourself or feel like a failure if you’re having a bad day or feeling down?
Do you suppress true feelings because you think that only “good & happy ” emotions should be expressed?
I have a PSA for you, my friend...
👏ALL YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID & FYI #HAPPINESS ISN'T A CONSTANT STATE!👏👏
If you feel unhappy honour it, let yourself feel those feels and express them in a healthy way.
CRY, SCREAM INTO A PILLOW, HIT UP YOUR JOURNAL AND LET RIP do whatever you need to do let those feelings free and feel better > do not play hide &seek with them because suppressed emotions don't disappear they recycle over and over and grow stronger.
I used to use a combination of these strategies to escape feeling my feelings:
1. Distracting - by shopping, focusing on work.
2. Numbing - by over boozing, over dating, overeating.
3. "Staying strong" & putting on a brave face.
4. Pep talks with manic positivity affirmations/ spiritually bypassing by jumping straight to “let's find the silver lining”.
Using these enabled me to avoid what needed dealing with so I got in my own way. Because unprocessed emotions are our biggest blockers.
“What you resist persists” so the longer
you keep stuffing emotions down the longer you stay in your own way.
But I get it, this shit is uncomfortable and we are conditioned into believing that emotions & feelings specifically ones labelled as negative are bad and should be avoided at all cost. That showing them is a sign of weakness and something to be ashamed of! God forbid you might make someone else uncomfortable by expressing them!
I chose to remove the good and bad label. I think of feelings as messengers and I enjoy some of the messages more than others but I don’t need to be scared or ashamed of any of them. I have learnt the importance of feeling & dealing with them all!
If you have been struggling to achieve your goals and dreams and you are the queen of suppression then maybe it is time to try a different approach.
To stop avoiding your emotions and work on developing the skill of surfing the wave of your emotions. Then releasing them rather than recycling.
Yes, your inner voice will be in your head pushing you to escape but you don't have to latch on that. You can choose curiosity instead;
“What am I thinking”
"What am I feeling”
“Where am I feeling it”
“Why am I feeling that”
This is a process I use with my clients this which helps pull me and them out of most spirals;
1. Stop & Breath
2. Name & tame
3. Get curious
4. Have a mantra "I am safe to feel" "This will pass"
5. Word vomit until you feel a shift in energy.
Anyhoo back to happiness!!!
The goal isn't to be happy happy all the time.
But if you experience more feelings of unhappiness than happiness then do not be tempted to sabotage your life by sitting back and doing nothing to change how you feel.
YOU DESERVE to live your life feeling the best you can and being the healthiest version of you possible. And this is not just the absence of disease or infirmity.
Full health is a complete state of physical, mental and social well being and feeling overall content and at peace with your life.
If you think that your happiness is not where it could be/you want it to be. Then isn't time to take responsibility and commit to taking small steps to change things to connect with your happy?
Step one is simply to decide to choose happy.
Step two is to decide what YOUR next step will be.What do you want to focus on first;
👉🏼Does your self-talk need to change?
👉🏼Do you need your diet to be less restrictive
👉🏼Do you need to end the scale number being the dictator of your mood and decisions?
👉🏼Do you need to stop chasing external solutions for an internal problem? (when I am..then I will be happy)
👉🏼Does your environment need to change
You deserve this so please take your life happiness very seriously.💄
Pinky promise ok?
If you have a question or want to work with me then send me a message
Sending you happy vibes.